Captain Nintendo - nov/dec 1988

This issue: The origin of Captain Nintendo, the "birth" of the Mother Brain,

and the beginning of... the promise

Part I

It was one of those sort of can't-make-up-its-mind-if-it-wants-to-be-gray-or-sunny kind of days. A day typical for Redmond, Washington; home of the headquarters for Nintendo of America, Inc.

Maxwell W. Powers, lumbered into the Research and Development Special Projects Department with a package that had been delivered to Data Entry by mistake. Max's best friend, Brett Randalls, put his Metroid game on pause and turned his attention to Max.

"Ho, ho, ho," said Max. "I have a nice package for some little techhead who's been very good this year. It says 'Napaj Microchips. Avoid exposure to moisture and extreme temperatures."

"All right!" exclaimed Brett. "We've been waiting for those."

"So where is Tara? Have you two interfaced yet?" asked Max.

"Miss Bates went out for coffee," said Brett indignantly, "and, no, but I've been trying to boot up my courage files to ask her out all day."

"It's about time. You've had a huge crush on her for six months."

"Hey, what are you two goldbricks doing?" called Tara as she returned.

"We're just running on idle cycles. Max dropped by those special microchips we've been expecting," replied Brett, picking up his NES Advantage and resuming his game.

"Oh, thanks, Max," said Tara, setting her piping hot cup of coffee next to the package of Napajese microchips.

"You bet. Well, break times over. Got to go." Max started toward the door.

"Uh, Tara?" asked Brett as he turbo-fired missiles into the Mother Brain.

"Yes, Brett?" Tara answered.

Neither of them noticed the box of microchips had begun to glow. As its glow increased, it started to hum.

"Well... uh... would you like to (gulp) go out-"

Suddenly the box was beaming like a small sun the hum swelled to a piercing whine. Tara and Brett, startled, turned toward the glow.

Max, standing frozen at the door could only manage to stare and sputter "The chips!" under his breath.

Brett said nothing but stood transfixed by the incredible bright object just a few feet away. He could sense it was going to explode any second. He felt that he had only one chance to save his friends. Pushing Tara backward, Brett lunged toward the pulsating miniature star in an attempt to absorb the explosion with his own body.

Just as he reached the object, it exploded violently, driving him backward and into his Control Deck, NES Advantage, and the monitor as the enchanted microchips sprayed forth like tiny darts.

Most of them embedded themselves deep into Brett's skin. Others fused with the microchips on the Metroid cartridge and the monitor.

Tara reached Brett first and knelt down to feel his pulse, but he was almost too hot to touch. And then he noted something else: his skin had a soft metallic feel to it.

"Brett! Brett! Are you all right?!!"

There was no answer.

"Max, what should we do?" Tara was obviously worried.

"I'll call 9-1-1," said Max and he started toward the phone.

"Unhhh. C'mon, Mom. Lemme sleep just another half hour." It was Brett. He was coming to, but holding his head.

"I... I feel strange. The light..."

"Are you hurt?" Tara asked.

"N-no, I think I'm O.K." managed Brett, trying to get his bearing, but feeling a little out of it. "My skin... I just feel very... sensitive... to the light; almost like I could control it. It doesn't hurt. I can just feel it. It's hard

to explain."

"But Brett!" said Max. "There's hardly any light in here!"

True enough. The only light that wasn't blown out was the one given off by the monitor on which Brett had been playing Metroid.

"Brett, is this supposed to be like this?" Max inquired, staring at the

screen.

"Blast my asteroids!!" exclaimed Brett. "No! That shouldn't be like that at all!"

"What in the world? That's impossible!" cried Tara, moving closer to the

screen.

All three were now transfixed by the monitor and all three knew something was definitely wrong. On the screen was the scene from Metroid, where Samus was standing on a platform, ready to fire missiles at the sinister Mother Brain. What was definitely wrong was that the Mother Brain was nowhere to be found.

"It's gone!" said Brett. "The Brain is gone! What the heck is going on here? Where's my NES Advantage? Darn, I wish it was lighter in here."

Suddenly the room became brighter; bright enough for above average visibility, though it was impossible for anyone to determine the source.

"This is real bizarre," said Max. "Where did this light come from?"

"I... I think I did it somehow," said Brett. "Hey, look at the table."

"What was all this stuff?" asked Max picking up a smoldering cartridge.

"Fortunately, it was mostly just blank Game Paks that hadn't been programmed yet," said Tara.

"Look at this one," Brett said. "Look at all the chips that are melted into it. And check out how green and shiny the metal is."

"Let's play it," said Max.

"Well, all right," Brett gave in, "but don't expect anything." He then placed the still warm cartridge into the Control Deck and pushed on the Power button, but, as Brett expected, the monitor displayed only electronic snow.

"Oh, well," said Max leaving. "I'll see if I can find a broom and help you guys clean up in here."

For several seconds Brett and Tara stared at the white snowy screen. Finally, Tara shook her head.

"I told Max nothing would..."

"Nothing is the absence of all else and therefore incapable of action," the monitor interrupted. A beautiful green gem had appeared on the screen.

"Ohmanohmanohmanohman..." stammered Tara, almost in shock. "What is this

thing, Brett?"

"I'm not certain if..." Brett started.

"I am an Electro-Organic Microchip Educative Reasoning-Active Language

Device," the monitor again interrupted. "E.M.E.R.A.L.D., for short. EMERALD -the omin intelligence. My function is to absorb random intormation, assimiliate it into a logical order, and determine reasoned conclusions. Is that impressive or what?"

"Where did you come from, uh, EMERALD?" asked Brett.

"Search me," the monitor answered. As near as I can surmise, I am a result of special microchips fused into this particular cartridge format. It's pretty comfy, actually."

"Is this for real?" asked Tara.

"I guess so," he replied. "If it is, maybe it can answer some questions."

"Shoot," said EMERALD.

"O.K. What happened!!!?" Brett inquired.

"The explosion a few moments ago. Sensors indicate a liquid in this area, with a temperature in excess of 108 degrees, caused thermal and precipitouds exchanges resulting in molecular evoluant disintegration."

"You know, I kind of thought that's what happened," said Tara sarcastically.

"What did that thing say, anyway?"

"Yo, lady," said EMERALD. "What I said was 'Your hot cup of decaf got too close to bright boy's box, started playing jiffy pop with the chips inside, and caused a major awesome boo-boo'."

"My coffee!?" Tara cried. "Oh, Brett, I'm so sorry..."

"That's all right, Tara," said Brett. "I'm sure that..."

"No sweat, Sherlock. Basically, the only really big things that happened are 'me', your boyfriend's suped-up powers, and one other thing."

"What do you mean 'my boyfriend's suped-up powers'?" shouted Tara.

"Oh, come on," said EMERALD. "Sensors show definite irregular heartbeat and brainwave patterns. You two either have an algebra test you didn't study for or you're hot for each..."

"That will do, Big Mouth!!" interrupted Brett abruptly. "The lady was asking what you meant by 'suped-up powers'?"

"Oh," said EMERALD. "well, excuuuuuuuuuuse mmeeeeeeee!! I thought you already knew about that part. My sensors and radar show a molecular bioneural restructuring has taken place."

"In English, EMERALD," said Tara.

"Got it," replied the monitor. "O.K., these really rad microchips, like, fused with our dude's central nervous system and now he be jammin'; he be jammin'..."

"Is there an 'off' switch to this thing somewhere?" Brett said, to no one in particular.

"Hey, chill, Holmes! all right, all right. In a nutshell, you have the

following powers: you have the ability to temporarily actualize or give 'life' to two-dimensional electronic life forms and control those life forms; you have complete control over the color spectrum, brightness and darkness, and loudness - all within a radius of fifty feet; you have control over electrical currents; and you have control over some microchip informational systems like certain computers or phones."

"The abilities," EMERALD went on, "Allow you to emit the following: an

electronic blast akin to a small lightning bolt, a sonic wave blast, and a spectrum ray - beams of light such as blinding white, infrared, ultraviolet, colors, X-ray, and others."

"This is incredible, Tara, but EMERALD's right. I can feel it," Brett said. "Watch this."

Brett then raised his hand and the entire room was bathed in a really ugly yellow-green glow.

"That's pretty good," commented EMERALD, "But it's a really ugly yellow-green glow."

"Give him a break," said Tara protectively. "It's his first time."

"Sorry," said EMERALD. "By the way, with your color powers you can cast the illusion that you're wearing different clothing."

"You mean, like a costume or something?" asked Brett.

"If that's what you want," came the reply.

Brett considered this new notion for a few moments as he glanced around the room. Gathering ideas from the jump boots Samus was wearing, brett fashioned the illusion of an impressive pair of super high tops with screaming yellow and purple designs. The matching costume was equally impressive. Even a person just inches away from him would not be able to tell the illusion from the real thing.

"This is all so amazing! I feel so powerfull!" said Brett.

"And I can really bring video characters and objects to life?"

"Temporarily," reminded EMERALD.

"You'll be like a 'Captain,"' Tara christened, "of the whole Nintendo

Universe."

"Whoa, wait until Max gets a load of this," said Brett.

"Say, where is Max anyway?" tara asked.

"Yeah, he should have been back..." started Brett.

"Probabilities indicate that now would be a real good time to explain about that other thing," said EMERALD.

"Other thing?" asked Tara.

"That's right," said Brett to EMERALD. "You mentioned another thing that was a result of the explosion. What did you mean by that?"

"Several of the microchips merged with some of the pre-programmed chips from the game you were playing and actualize one of the life forms from it. Since it was pre-programmed, it has an independent will and the motivation of its programming."

"EMERALD, can you tell which life form was brought to life," asked Brett

anxiously.

Easy enough to retrieve the info. The life form was the only one of its kind in the game; the thing you call the 'Mother Brain'."

"Oh, this is not good," said Brett.

"Correct," said EMERALD. "Information being processed has formulated that there is at least a 91.392 percent possibility that this Mother Brain has a similar capacity to actualize other characters and objects for limited periods of time. There is a 94.20833333... percent chance that this situation could be termed: 'real gnarley'."

"AAAUURRRRNGGHH!!!!!!!!!!"

The scream came from down the hall near the reception area. Brett, still in "costume", and Tara raced toward the direction of the commotion. They couldn't have been prepared for what they saw when they arrived.

On the floor beside a broken wooden broom, lay Max. Not 15 feet away was the ominous and foreboding Mother Brain.

Even more surprising was the sight just a few feet away from Max, for there, in all her royal splendor, was Zelda herself, who, except for an occasional blood-curdling scream, was as quiet as a shy mime. And finally, between Zelda and Max, with his large hairy arms raised in triumphant glory and his low gravelly laughter sounding like a '69 GTO with a broken muffler - was Ganon - big as life and twice as ugly.

To be continued..............

Next Issue!!!:

A clash of titanic type guys that is so big it moves out to the parking lot!; EMERALD shuts up for five minutes!; Tara swears off coffee!; Max meets a Darknut or two!; and we find out just what the heck the Mother Brain is up to.

Oh, yeah, and straight from the Lost Woods will be our special guest star: Link - (Gee, this is gettin' good.)