Episode 23
The Trojan Dragon
Based on: Dragon Warrior

On the Dragon Warrior based world of Dragon’s Den, a small wimpy comic relief dragon is fretting over an egg trying to wish it into hatching. He’s worried that if it doesn’t hatch soon Dragonlord is going to punish him. Dragonlord shows up to scare him and tell him he’s right. Dragonlord says that he’s waited a lifetime for this moment and wants to know why the Golden Dragon hasn’t hatched yet. The wimpy dragon explains that he’s never had a golden egg before. They don’t have enough energy to hatch it. Dragonlord does some villainous threatening and tells the wimpy dragon to FIND more power. After Dragonlord leaves, Wimpy Dragon comes up with an idea. He’s going to get the Sunstone that energizes that Palace of Power. Now THAT’S setting your sights high.

In the Palace of Power, Simon and Kevin are competing again. Gameboy is producing enemies from Metroid while Simon is trying to show Cap how the “whip is better than the Zapper.” Gameboy sends out several enemies and Simon snaps them all away with his whip. Kevin says that’s nothing. He gets Gameboy to send him more enemies. Kevin does some trick shooting to show off. Naturally. He’s got to be the best at games. What else does he have going for him? Simon is in such a shocked state of impressed that he actually drops his whip.

Outside, the wimpy dragon has two flying dragon-like creatures breath fire on a cable that leads into the palace. Inside, Simon has got his wits about him again (as much as he ever does) and is going prove he’s better by taking out more enemies that Kevin did, with his back turned and holding his mirror in one hand. The damage the dragon things do causes Gameboy to experience a power overload. (He’s plugged into a wall socket). All the power shuts down in the palace. Simon is naturally distracted and not ready when Gameboy pops out two oversized monsters that chase him round for a little bit before he runs into another room. Once again, despite whatever emergency is going on, everybody can take a moment to laugh at Simon.

Okay. Everybody take a moment to laugh at Simon. Done? Okay. Back to the story.

Lana comes running up to Kevin, Megaman, Duke and Gameboy wanting to know why all the lights suddenly went out. Megaman says he’ll check it out. We get to see a rare moment of one of Megaman’s gadgets. A rocket pack comes out of his back and he flies up to check out the problem. He finds the burnt up wires and is attacked by the wimpy dragon and two dragon-like things. He dodges, but they’re still able to get away with the Sunstone though a warp.

The N-Team plans to go off to retrieve the Sunstone. The power surge charged Gameboy’s batteries up to full power, so he’s hooked up to the palace to keep the defense systems going. They also get Simon out of the closet he ran into earlier. Somehow he got himself tangled up in all sorts of hosepipes and mops and such. Silly old Simon.

Back in Dragon’s Den, the wimpy dragon has handed over the Sunstone to Dragonlord. They’re using it to try and hatch the dragon like they said. Dragonlord throws another idea out there. He’s issued a call to all the dragons across the world to prepare for their attack. As soon as the Gold Dragon hatches, the dragons are taking over.

Upon arrival in Dragon’s Den, the N-Team is attacked by a group of slimes that spit acid goo slime at them. Megaman and Kid Icarus provide cover for Kevin who runs out there and blasts them. In traditional RPG fashion, they leave behind some gold when they dissolve. Then the N-Team looks up and sees hundreds of dragons flying in a line.

Simon comments on how Dragonlord is throwing a party and they weren’t invited. Kevin says that’s a great idea, which totally confuses Simon. He says they’ll crash the party in a Trojan Dragon. Lana says that Hyrule has a dragon tree forest that they can use to make the disguise and thanks Simon for his wonderful idea. The N-Team splits up. Kevin and Lana go to investigate while Simon, Kid Icarus, and Megaman go meet Zelda and Link in Hyrule to make the Trojan D.

While wandering around in the forest, Simon runs across a moblin and freaks out. He takes off and runs right into a huge spider web. The moblin says that Simon’s his first catch of the day and we get a great Simon line.

Simon: (in a very confident voice) Not if I have anything to say about it, and I do. HEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPP!

Link shows up and takes care of the moblin after showing off a little bit (The guy loves his work.). Then a huge spider starts to craw down the web towards Simon. Zelda takes care of the Spider with a well-placed arrow. An interesting note is the smile Zelda and Link give each other here. It’s a far cry from the old series where they were always trying to show each other up. They seem to have become quite the team. Megaman and Kid Icarus tell them how great they were. Simon just says that it ‘wasn’t bad” and says they need to get back to work.

We have a montage of footage where they’re building their Trojan Dragon while a parody of Working in the Coal Mine plays. This song is called, In the Mouth of the Dragon, or if it’s not called that, it’s close enough. It’s worth noting that Kid Icarus apparently has a stitching arrow and Simon paints the details on the mouth. Now this is a well-designed Trojan here. They’ve even given it the ability to fly and breath fire.

Back in Dragon‘s Den, Lana and Kevin go to a shopkeeper. He tells them that Dragonlord is the worst villain that he’s seen. Everybody has stocked up on supplies for the upcoming attack and all he ahs left is a bottle of fairy water. In typical NPC fashion, the then tells them how he was waiting for a hero to come save them and he has a special map for that Dragon Warrior. Perhaps using the name was a bit cheesy, but I thought it was a nice touch. Then he points out how they can get to the flame sword and the silver shield but to get them they’ll have to brave the cave of the Axe Knight. Kevin hands over the gold he picked up earlier. The shopkeeper says he has a special rate for heroes and hands him the Fairy water as well (Wish he had a special rate when I was playing the game.).

Kevin, Duke, and Lana go to the cave where they immediately run across the Axe Knight. Unlike the games, this isn’t a long winding tunnel or anything. It’s a small cave with the Axe Knight right there and the chest behind him. The problem is, the knight is wearing blast proof armor and is Donkey Kong sized. After a brief panic, Kevin uses his power pad to run underneath the knight and to the chest. Kevin barely avoids an axe to the face by pressing pause. He then gets the treasure and takes off, leaving a confused Axe Knight behind.

Back on Hyrule, the team says their goodbyes to Zelda and Link. The Trojan dragon takes to the air. This is when we find out Simon is afraid of flying. He’s having extreme trouble piloting the contraption and ends up flying it right above Lana and Kevin’s head and crashing it into a lake.

Once they get out, Kevin says that he’ll be the one to fly it. They arrive in Dragonlord’s base where they overhear the plans for the Sunstone and the Golden Dragon. Before they can do anything, they’re confronted by a dragon that’s checking people off on his list. Kid Icarus, using the microphones (wow they thought of everything), introduces himself as Dragonicus from Mount Icaronius. Naturally, he’s not on the list.

Dragonlord walks by his troops. The younger dragons are practicing shooting fire at targets and not doing a very good job. This ticks Dragonlord off so he calls the “old timer” to show the rookies his battle scars. Cute. Dragonlord mistakes the Trojan for an old really beaten dragon. Frankly, the only way he could mistaken for any kind of dragon would be an old beat down one. The scars impress the rookies. Dragonlord then tells him to go hit the targets and show them how it’s done. Lana, Duke, and Kevin are going to get the stone while the others pilot the Trojan Dragon and keep everyone distracted.

The first obstacle that Kevin and the gang encounter is the entrance way is shaped like a dragon’s mouth that rapidly opens and shuts crushing anything caught in it. They manage to leap though it and end up on a long chute that almost drops them into lava. Or magma. Whichever sounds cooler I guess. Kevin uses his power pad in a way that it’s hardly ever used. He actually uses it to levitate across the lava. At least, that was the plan; it runs out of juice halfway. Kevin quickly throws the shield down and they hand on it, using it to finish crossing the lava lake.

Back to the gang aboard the Trojan Dragon, they’re doing their best to dodge catapult fire when Simon freaks out. He just can’t take it anyone. He quickly gets the dragon out of the sky and runs out the hatch. Dragonlord spots them and is actually impressed by their camouflage job. Not impressed enough so that he’ll let them go, but he is impressed. That has to count for something. The team is quickly caught. Dragonlord places a magical necklace on Simon. It’s one of those things that you can’t remove and will shrink to fit the wearer. As soon as the dragon hatches, the necklace will cause them to be the first things the Golden Dragon attacks. Dragonlord then drops them on a huge spider web overlooking the golden egg. Kevin, Lana, and Duke run into the room just in time to hear the team call for help.

Then the egg hatches. For a brief moment it’s a tiny sized dragon, then it grows to huge awesome dragon size proportions. It sees the necklace on Simon and goes after the team. They all run back into the Trojan Dragon and try to fight it off. Keep in mind; the Trojan Dragon is about ten times the size of anyone on the N-Team. The Golden Dragon is about ten times the Trojan’s size. Lana gets the idea to use the fairy water on the cursed necklace to get it off. Simon hangs outside of the Trojan to drop the necklace onto Dragonlord. The Golden Dragon goes right after him and he panics and runs. It doesn’t take him long to use his magic to get it off, when he does, the throws the cursed necklace on the Golden Dragon, causing it to melt away into a pixilated mess. The N-Team swoop down in the Trojan Dragon and grab the Sunstone. When Dragonlord realizes what’s happened, he hits his own head repeatedly for being such a dope.

With the Sunstone, the N-Team flies off into the horizon.

Overall, this isn’t a bad episode. It’s not one of the better ones either. While it’s always nice to see Link and Zelda, and the Trojan Dragon scenes were well handled, Dragonlord just really isn’t that great of a villain in this series.

Featuring
Dragonlord
Wimpy Dragon
Gameboy
Simon Belmont
Duke
Kid Icarus
Kevin Keene/Captain N
Megaman
Kid Icarus
Link
Zelda
Golden Dragon
Moblin
Axe Knight